


Litanurse

by AphoticAmaranth



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/M, Nurses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-13 23:06:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16901526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AphoticAmaranth/pseuds/AphoticAmaranth
Summary: Litandus meets nurse Sayori...





	Litanurse

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Litandus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Litandus/gifts).



“Yay~!” Litandus exclaimed, as Monika sat on his face. “Suffocate me with your thicc thighs, mommy Monika!”

Monika wrapped her thighs around Litandus’s face. “Yeah… you like that, you fucking retard?” she panted smugly, tightening her grasp on Litandus and threatening to asphyxiate him.

“I’m so happy…” Litandus embraced Monika, burying himself deeper into her thighs. “Sho good…”

They stayed like that for a few moments before Monika pried herself off Litandus. To her horror, Litandus had fallen asleep! “Litandus… Wake up, dummy…” Monika whispered into Litandus’s ear while shaking him vigorously. “Litan-”

Ominous background music suddenly played, and Monika realised that Litandus’s face was as blue as his username. “Oh. Ahahaha…” she laughed nervously to herself. “Hold on a second, I can probably fix this… I think…”
    
    
    SetVariable(Litandus.current_health, 100)
    Access is denied
    
        

“Fucking modsmmmmmm and their high security settings.” Monika sighed to herself. “Guess he’ll die.”

Monika shrugged and left the room, because this fanfic was totally not inspired by Sayo-Nara.

As the last vestiges of Litandus’s life force slowly faded away, Monika had an epiphany. “Hold up, it can’t end like this. After all, we’re less than 200 words into this fanfic. Way too soon to kill off the protagonist… for now, that is.” She ran back into the room, and did a full body search of Litandus. Finding his phone, she tried to unlock it, and guessed the password correctly on her first attempt.

“This is so sad. Alexa, call me an ambulance!” Monika yelled at the phone.

“Okay. You are an ambulance.” the phone replied in a monotonous voice.

Monika smiled sadly. She deleted Alexa, and searched the internet for ‘number of ambulance’.

“There is a grand total of one ambulance in this world.” the web page read. “The developer was lazy, and reused assets.”

Frustrated, Monika tossed Litandus’s phone back at him, hitting him in the face. “Help me, Sayori!” she shouted, to no one in particular, because she and Litandus were the only two people in the room.

Sayori came crashing through the window. “The emergency number is 177013!” she exclaimed before jumping out of the window.

“Emergence…” Yuri’s voice came from under Litandus’s bed. “If you’re looking for the emergency number, it’s…”

“I know! 3141592653589793238462643! I’m the best, after all!” yet another voice answered from beneath the bed.

“Thank you Natsuki, very cool!” Monika reached for Litandus phone and dialed the number. One eternity later, someone picked up the call. “I need an ambulance here right now!” Monika yelled into the phone before hanging up and throwing the phone into Litandus’s face.

A moment later, an ambulance came crashing through yet another window. It was exactly as Monika had requested; just an ambulance, and nothing else. Just Ambulance.

“This is no time for jokes! I’m serious…” Monika sighed in frustration.

“Hi serious, I’m Sayori!” Sayori greeted Monika, as she crashed into the third and final window in Litandus’s room. She gently opened the back door of the ambulance, and not-so-gently tossed Litandus into the ambulance. Heading into the driver’s seat, she drove the ambulance straight into the wall, making a Hole in Wall.

_Later that day, at the hospital…_

Litandus slowly opened his eyes to see Sayori’s cute, innocent face filling his vision, giving him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. “Yay, Litandus is back~!” Sayori smiled and exclaimed, jumping off him and turning to walk away. Litandus’s gaze lingered on Sayori as she left. He stared longingly at Sayori, now in a nurse outfit. Her outfit was whiter than any Seed Milk he could ever produce, and accentuated the child bearing hips of a literal bundle of sunshine. Sayori was cute, but nurse Sayori was cuter. Litandus was suddenly filled with an insatiable desire to mate with her, pass his genes through her, and have her birth a happy family.

“No, I’m not back yet!” Litandus protested. “I need healing!” He closed his eyes, pretending to be unconscious. Sayori, however, did not notice him.

Litandus started shaking uncontrollably, and rambling incomprehensibly to himself.

“I'd do fucking ANYTHING for the chance to get nurse Sayori pregnant. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fucking bear. Why would SovietSpartan create something so perfect? To fucking tantalize us? Fucking laugh in our faces?!” Litandus screamed loudly enough for the entire hospital to hear. “Honestly guys, I just fucking can't anymore. Fuck.”

News of Litandus’s bizarre outburst quickly spread across the world.

Clips was the first to hear of it. “Lit, I'm coming to where you live. You need a therapist.” he said to himself. He rode his bicycle, made entirely out of paper clips, all the way to Litandus’s house. He gently opened the door… only to find that Litandus was not at home, because he was still in the hospital.

Owain and Stuart visited Litandus in the hospital. Suddenly, Owain forcefully snatched Stuart’s Ban Hammer from him. Owain swung the hammer around wildly while reciting the rules of the Literature Club in full, barely missing Litandus and Stuart with every swing. Finally, he slammed the hammer down just beside Litandus. “Any further violations from you will result in a ban!” he yelled.

The commotion attracted several people, many of whom were aware that Litandus was Monika’s partner. The hospital was soon filled with countless people spreading rumours and speculating about what had happened between Litandus and Monika. Some even believed that they had broken up, and tried to seize the opportunity to woo Monika and be her next partner.

“Okay, everyone!” Litandus announced. “I’m not entirely serious about nurse Sayori, I just really like this one, but I’m still a Monikan!”

At that moment, nurse Sayori walked into the room. “Meanie. You think I’m not good enough for you?” she pouted. “Nurse Sayori is nice and all, but…”

Nurse Sayori ripped out a large portion of her outfit, revealing muscular, toned abs. Her face contorted, turning into a haunted Astolfo plushie. She called Litandus gay, and slowly walked towards him...

**Author's Note:**

> Based on [this post in r/DDLC](https://www.reddit.com/r/DDLC/comments/a3vb78/nurse_sayori/).


End file.
